(Mary - 10)

Mostly we would talk about her mum: the mum who didn't love her. The mum who never hugged her, or kissed her, or said nice stuff. Or treated her the same as her sister.

But today was different. Today she started by saying things between them had been better.

"I've been trying that thing you said, about not picking up the jumper." (I'd showed her a month or so before how you couldn't have a tug-of-war - i.e. an arguement - if only one person picked up the rope - we used her school jumper. I could still remember her hurt face as I said all I could think off to test her; to see if she'd stay strong and not to pick up the sleeve and pull. She'd stuck it out, she'd been brilliant - and I'd made sure she knew it too!)

"Yeah," she went on. "I just walk away when she starts, and then come back a bit later and ask if she's ok."

(I'm pretty sure I didn't suggest that bit!)

"So it's helping then?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

"Anyway, so I had my tests and..."

"Tests?"

"Yes, they were for.." (medical thing) "...and they were all ok. Nothing was wrong."

"Oh, ok, good."

"And my mum cried."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. And she said it was like my aunt - I'm not being funny but she's like really big - and my mum said it was like my aunt was on her head and someone had taken her off."

"Your mum said that when all your tests said you were ok it was like someone had taken someone really heavy off her head? Wow, so that sounds like she does love you. It sounds like she loves you a lot."

"Yeah. We were walking the other day and she said that her being cross and angry and stuff had nothing to do with her not loving me."

"Wow," I said.

"Yeah," she said.

A FEW WEEKS LATER...

"So how's things?"

Mary wrote in my pad. She likes to do that sometimes - answer in writing. She's not shy, or ever reluctant to talk - and getting her to go back to class can be a struggle. She just likes making a kind of story in single words on paper. I think it helps her 'see it' somehow.

She wrote: 'Better'.

"Ok, good. How have you done that? How have you made it better?"

She wrote again: 'Less arguments'. But then she looked up and said brightly, "There's been hugs and kisses too!"

"Oh, that's new, Great."

"Yeah," she said matter of factly, "I cry every time."